Moving on...It's time.

It's been so long since I said that I would never move on but nah I have changed my mind because I want to make the best out of my life...we never know when it's going to end so I think that we have to try our best to be succesfull in life and acomplish all of our goals!:P After making it through a year of much negative and doubtful thinking and doing, I realized that if I wanted things to change for the better, I would have to get moving in a positive direction. With the positive help my girlfriends, everything seemed to begin to fall back into place. Positive thinking and actually doing things made changes. Right now I am where I want to be and every day moves a little more foreword. My friend have been a great help, and they know who they are!Like i recently told my friend's...."No more settlin for less im lookin for that kinda man that wants to give me his best cause im giving my best, a man that wants to cherish this and knows exactly how to hold me not some silly little boy who wants some goodies cuz he took me to the movies .. say i dont want it anymore, i dried my eyes and i realized i deserve somebody that will treat me right." I 've got to stop doing this to myself...worrying to much, thinking about things I can't do anything about...wondering if I'd done or said or been someone or something different...if things would be better...None of it matters. Have to make the best of what I can do, what I can change, etc." I 've had plenty of brief, bitter-sweet encounters with special people. I've had the time of my life bonding,laughing, loving, living. And then they are gone. Forever. It's amazing how much can change in a year.I wish that time could stand still sometimes...I wish that we could preserve moments, the good ones, and save them for moments like now...when you know something has changed, when you realize that what was the case a year ago isn't the case now...I wish we could relive the better moments and discard the bad ones.The difficulty lies in the true affection and love I still feel so much of inside. As a friend, I know I must be happy for him, and show him that it's not all about me. I should be happy that he's finally finding some kind of direction. Lord knows, he had little or no direction a year ago.Either way, someone is always hurt. It's just too bad that someone had to be me. I'm the one who has to follow his lead. I have to move on. I just wish it weren't so difficult. You hate them, you love them, you want to not be in love with them anymore. Your heart and your mind are at complete opposites to each other. Logically you know he was not the one for you. But your heart aches to have that constant contact and companion and to have what you once had. But you know deep down that you can never get that back, that it's gone forever. Only memories are left, and you play them back in your mind, like a film....